My Hip Songs
you see how boring school is? where do you think im bored enough to do this shit?
Livin' La Vida Unsanitary (sing to La Vida Loca beat)
She came, I fucked her up
She came, I bust my nut
The sun came, and she left me
Then I had to go pee.
(Part where you sing higher)
I called my homies Le and Eddie
Bailey and Gabe were chasing after meeeeee
Here we go now
Bustin OG ass
Here we go
Ditchin' P.E. class
Here we go now
Livin La Vida Tay-G
All night long
Livin Unsanitary
I hopped in, my low ridah,
Turned on rock, but i got shot
(Higher)
I looked around to see who it was
But it was Eddie jaaackin ooooooffff.
Here we go now
Cappin chollo ass
Here we go now
Bitchin in Science class
Here we go now
Livin La Vida Tay-G
Tonight's the night
Livin unsanitary
Ricky's my fuckin bitch now
I say, "dont have a cow"
(Higher)
I left to let Le doing it in the rain,
as I left I heard him scream in paaaaaaain
Here we go now
Livin La Vida Tay-Z
Here we go now
Killin the faget Jay-Z
Wish he was like
My favorite singer Ricky
Tonight's the night
stabbin some freakin fobee
Here we go
Livin La Vida Tay-G
Livin La Vida Tay-G
Livin La Vida
Hellz Yah Dawg
hellz yah dawg
wussup y'all to all
my homies in da valley
smackin up the la
migras in the state of cali
fuckin up the hoes
then i gotz to go
hellz yah dawg
(Chorus)
what's up everyone
put your hands up
im gonna kick yo nuts
so wear a cup
shove it up dawg
hellz yah dawg
(Guest)
Yo YO yo this is masta
b.
cappin the OGees
cappin FOBS with ease
hangin out with my
homies
hellz yah dawg
(Chorus)
pimpin on the street
my ass can't be beat
im not a freak
hellz yah dawg
(Chorus)
All the Small Things (Tay-G remix)
(Sing to-you guessed it-"All the Small Things" by Blink-182)
all the small things
your dick, ding-a-ling
always, i know
you're at porn shows
say it ain't so, I will not go
to the gay bar, carry me home
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
late night, come home
"Ben sucked" "I know"
"he left me condoms by the stairs
i didn't see them there"
say it aint so, clomidia
in the gay bar, gonnarhea
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
say it aint so, H I V
crabs and herpes, now you can't pee
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Original Homeless
(sing to the Offspring's "Original Prankster")
"You can do it!"
Until the break of dawn
Food food
Cannot go by without it
Home home
Trashcans can make it better
Now its time
To beg for cash
But where ever I'm at, that's where the cops
are on
Hey
Life life
sucks without some dollars
Crime crime
jackin some shirts with collars
now its time to beg for cash, but whenever I leave I forget my stash
Knock down the can
Im gonna wash your car
Knock down the box
Im alone, it's true
Knock down the cup
You're gonna keep, you're spare change you
(x2)
Greedy bastard
Original Homeless
Greedy yeah
Original yeah
You know I smell like shit
goddamn, you smell like dumpster
son of ben
crack always makes it better
now its time to beg for dough, but where ever I go there is Le the hoe
Knock down the can
Im gonna wash your car
Knock down the box
Im alone, it's true
Knock down the cup
You're gonna keep, you're spare change you
(x2)
Greedy bastard
Original Homeless
Greedy yeah
Original yeah
nine nine
cannot afford one
mine mine
fries and a burger bun
nine nine
cannot afford one
well you see the time of day,
its time to go now
Knock down the can
Im gonna wash your car
Knock down the box
Im alone, it's true
Knock down the cup
You're gonna keep, you're spare change you
(x4)
Greedy bastard
Original Homeless
Greedy yeah
Original yeah
Pretty Slick for a Nerd Guy (sing to "Pretty fly for a white guy" by the Offspring)
Get away from me, pervert
Uh huh Uh huh
Get away from me, pervert
Uh huh Uh huh
And all the girlies said
I'm pretty slick for a Nerd guy
You know its kinda hard just
to get a girl these days.
He thinks he is so cool,
but in reality he's gay
He may not be hip, and he may not have class,
but when he checks out my girl, im gonna kick his smarty ass!
(Chorus)
So don't talk shit!
You piece of trash!
Cause if you say a bit!
You're gonna take in in the ass
So if you don't run!
I will get my gun!
For you no way! For you no way!
Cause I'll kick your shins!
Then I'll break your neck!
Next I'll call out Ben!
And we'll steal your specs!
You're such a wannabe-a, such a wannabe-a
Hey hey get the fuck away!
Get away from me, pervert
Uh huh Uh huh
Get away from me, pervert
Uh huh Uh huh
And all the girlies said
I'm pretty slick for a Nerd guy
He needs some cool tunes not
just any will suffice
but they didn't have snoop dogg
so he bought some song called "Nice"
now cruisin to the party
to get with all peer
but when he checked out the cd
and it was britney spears
Chorus
when he got to the meeting
and he played the song real high
his "friends" gave him a beating
so it made him cry
when he ran away, and that im so sorry to say
he went from the straight path, and then he went gay
Chorus
Ender Balls
(sing to "Jingle Bells")
Running from the cops
for molesting that small kid
"The condom didn't pop
I know not what I did"
the policeman said "Shutup"
and chased him through the streets
"You'd better have a cup,
cause your nuts will be beat!"
OOOHHHH!!
Ender balls
Ender balls
Ender's balls will break
"When I get my hands on you,
I'll rip out your filthy snake!"
OOOHHHH!!
Ender balls
Ender balls
will be gone in five
"Your molesting days will end here, so
you'd hate being alive."
Dingaling Island
(sing to "Gilligan's Island")
Now this is a tale about a group of men
Who sailed the seven seas
They all were queer as a guy named Ben
And all got condoms for free
They got a boat for a tiny cruise
A cruise that will last five days
But when the captain had some booze
Their voyage would be gay
Their voyage would be gay
The crewmen started getting rough
And the hoe dogs were getting tired
Then the boat crashed into some stuff
And they were stranded on an isle
And they were stranded on an isle
Now on the island, there were 6
And they were all fruity
There was Ted the hoe
And Ben the pimp
the perverty, old guy
the queer monkey
the retard and gary ann
Here on Dingaling Isle!
Hooker
(sing to "Nookie" by Limp Bizkit)
Check! 1 1 2...
I came into her ass like a retard
looked into her rear
then you'll see the size of her hemoragge
tearing up my dick tearing up her ass
then you'll know what its like to feel all the pain (ha)
hey maybe i should give her a break
cause my orgasm was fake
her ass'll hurt either way
hey, what the hell what you want me to say
i wont lie, that i cant deny
i did it all for the hooker
come on!
the hooker
come one!
cause she's a good cooker
and she'll take it in the
ass (ass)
take it in the
ass (ass)
take it in the
why did i wait so long, huh
to cum in her ass
but i didn't
cause im the only one, underneath the sun
who didn't get it
i cant believe that i could be decieved (huh)
by the so called girl (but in reality)
she had a hidden agenda, she's not real tenda
and still i surrendered
like a chump
hey
like a chump
hey
like a chump
hey
like a chump
I did it all for the hooker
come on!
the hooker
come on!
cause HE'S a good cooker
and he'll take it in the ass
yeah
take it in the
ass (ass)
take it in the
ass (ass)
take it in the
don't talk to me, im only human
easier said than done
i appreciate, the help, but
just leave me alone
and nothing's gonna change
cause she's not really she
and he's just a he's
and she's not just a she
and he's just a HEEEE
i did it all for male hookers
come on!
male hookers
come on!
male hookers
come on!
cause he was a good cooker
and he'd
take it up the
ass (ass)
take it up the
ass (ass)
take it up the
Where's my dick again?
(sing to blink-182's "what's my age again")
i took it out, it was a friday night
i wore condoms, to get the feeling right
i went to the bar, and i got laid
but i still got STDs
and thats about the time i misplaced my dick
nobody likes you when you're such a prick
and im still more amused by jack-ing off
what the hell's a playboy mag
my friend's say i should hold my dick
where's my dick again, where's my dick again
and later on, on the drive home
i called my mom from a pay phone
i said i lost my dick, and sally's a whore
"you're a dumbass" my mommy said to me
and thats about the time i misplaced my dick
nobody likes you when you're such a prick
and you're still more amused by her mother
what the hell's a blow up doll
my friend's say i should hold my dick
where's my dick again, where's my dick again
(short guitar playing)
and thats about the time i misplaced my dick
nobody likes you when you're such a prick
and you still act like you're im-po-tent
what the hell is this blue pill
i'll never wanna lose my dick
and thats about the time she stole my dick
that little bitch is gonna pay for this
and she still acts like she's twenty-one
what the hell is up with her
i'll never lend my dick again
where's my dick again
where is my dick again
where's my dick agaaaaaaiinnnnnnnnn
The Real Gay Eddie
(sing to "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem)
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real gay Eddie please stand up?
I repeat, will the real gay eddie please stand up? We're gonna to have
a problem here
Ya'll act like you never saw a faget before
jaws all on the floor
like Ben and Ted burst in the door
and started pimpin his ass worse than before they got divorced
It's the return of the- "Oh wait, no way, you're kidding. He didn't just
say what I think he did, did he?"
And Chen Lei said: Nothing you idiots!
Chen Lei's dead, he's locked in Ed's basement
Faggetty guys loved Eddie Tuan chicka chicka
gay Eddie, I'm sick of him. Look at him
walkin around grabbin his you know what
and pimpin you know who. "yeah, but he's so gay though"
Yeah, he's probably got a couple gays locked up in his bedroom, but no
worse than what's goin on in Ted's bathroom.
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let loose
but i can't since Ben's humpin a moose.
He's got herpes on his lips
He's got herpes on his tits
and Ted's lucky he wont get infected with the kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids and expect them not
to know what a blowjob is.
Of course they gonna know what a bj is by the fourth grade, they got ted
and eddie to watch, don't they? they aint nothin but mammals- but
sometimes they act like wild animals who butt fuck dogs.
but if ben can hump ted and dogs then there's plenty of reasons he's got
no log
but if you feel like I feel i got the antidote. sing the chorus and it
goes
(Chorus)
I'm gay eddie, yes i'm the real eddie all you other gay eddie's are just
masturbatin
cause im gay eddie, yes i'm the real eddie
so won't the real eddie please stand up, please stand up.
[chorus]
ted doesn't need condoms to sell pornos
well ed does. so fuck ted and fuck you too.
you think he gives a shit about an emmy?
half of you critics can't even stomach him,
let alone stand him. "but ed, what if you win, wouldn't be weird?" "go
fuck yourself, cause i dont wanna sit next to britney spears. i wanna sit
next to carson daly and fred durst and hear them argue who's gonna give
me head first." little bitches, put me on a blast in a GayTV. yeah, he's
gay but he's married to Ted, he he!
i should download them humpin on an mp3 and dream about how he gave head
to me.
i'm sick of all you little rock and roll groups, all you do is annoy me.
so i've been sent here to destroy you.
and there's a million of us just like me.
who are gay like me, who just dont wear condoms like me who crossdress
like me
walk, talk and act like me. it just might be the next best thing but not
quite me
[chorus]
im like a bad trip to listen to cause i'm only giving you things you joke
about with your lovers in your living room. the only difference is i got
the
balls to do it in front of ya'll, and i don't gotta be forced into that
position at all. i just get down and take it, whether you like to admit
it.
I just take it better than 90% of you rappers out there. then you wonder
how faggets eat up these albums like viagra.
it's funny cause at the rate im going when I'm 30, ill be the only person
with clomidia and herpes, and my ass is still hurting and this whole bag
of
prozac isnt working and ever single person is a gay Eddie lurking. He
could be working at The Gap humping and having a Frapp or in the gay bar
screaming i dont give a fuck with his zipper down and his penis up. So
will the real gay Eddie please stand up, and put both hands on your penis,
straight up. and be proud to be gay, outta viagra and one more time,
loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm gay eddie, yes i'm the real eddie all you other gay eddie's are just
masturbatin
cause im gay eddie, yes i'm the real eddie
so won't the real eddie please stand up, please stand up.
Eastsider
(sing to "Higher" by Creed)
When dreaming,I'm guided through a new ghetto Time and time agaaaaaaiinn
At sunset, I fight the westsiders
Cause I don't wanna leave this hood agaaain
Cause there's a gangwar, raging on outside
From the life I live when I'm cappin a friend
So let's go there
(Chorus)
Let's cap some dawgs
Come on lets go there
Let's bring our nines
Can you say, "eastSIDEr!"
To the place where chollos rule
Can you saaay, "eastSIDEr!"
To the place where we're cappin fools
Although this place looks like a dump
It helps me to appreciate
The west and noooooorth side
But my friend, I'll cap em all
If I could make this ghetto a beeeetter place
The only difference is
To let mac10's replace all our nines
[chorus]
Cross side cappin feels like I'm alive for the first time
"eastSIDE rules!" scream homies to take these
ho's and make them mine
I feel alive again, so lets go there
lets cap some ass, come on lets go there
lets yell "eastSIIIIIIIIIDDDEEEEEEE!!"